How to Have an Orgasm with Anal Play


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Written by Dr. Petra Zebroff, Relationship and Sex Therapist

 

Having an orgasm through anal stimulation can be a fiesta of pleasure. Not only can blissful sensation come from stimulating the outer anus, which is full of delicious nerve endings, throbbing pleasure can come from deep penetration. The possibilities are endless.

Anatomy & Physiology of Orgasms with Anal Play

The anus is flooded with nerve endings. These nerve endings move through the pudendal nerve, which is the same nerve as serves the clitoris. Touching the anus brings a direct and almost focused sense of pleasure.

The anus has two rings of muscle responsible for controlling digestion. The outer ring is in our conscious control while the inner ring is controlled by our autonomic nervous system, which is not in our control.

As you move further inside the rectum any stimulation will be picked up by the same nerves that respond to stimulation of the inner vagina and cervix – the pelvic nerve. Stimulating this nerve brings deep and throbbing sensation, a feeling that many find extremely arousing.

Here's How

Setting the scene: Preparation

Anal stimulation can take more preparation than vaginal or clitoral stimulation, simply because of the nature of the anus and rectum and the proximity to fecal material.

Time and Space

Feeling pleasure and reaching orgasm take focus. It is essential that you not be distracted. Clear a time and space that will allow you to relax without being interrupted.

Void and cleanse

The best way to feel comfortable about anal play is to get rid of your concerns of cleanliness. Find a level that is comfortable for you. Start by voiding your bowels. Then give you anus a nice warm wash with soap and water. Insert your finger a few inches inside (without soap), which will allow you to feel if you are completely emptied out.

Some people like to give themselves a full enema. This is what porn performers do before any anal play. While this is unnecessary for most anal play, it all depends on what makes you feel most comfortable. Decide what's best for you, and do that.

Get sufficiently aroused

Increasing arousal is especially important for anal pleasure. Starting anal play before you are properly aroused can be downright unpleasant, not to mention painful. The goal is pleasure. Don’t push for orgasm, relax into the pleasure and the orgasm will eventually come.

Dedication to pleasure

The ability to reach orgasm happens mostly in the mind. It is difficult to reach orgasm if you are feeling pressured to orgasm, guilt or shame about sex. Having an orgasm requires “letting go” into the pleasure. If you are worried about what your mother might think or what a priest said about shame, then an orgasm may be difficult to achieve. You need to give yourself permission to have an orgasm in order to have one.

What it feels like

An anal orgasm has been described as taboo, body-shaking and intense.  Read women's descriptions of an anal orgsm.

Getting Started

Get into the right head space

Be in an excited, positive mood. If you are too tired or cranky you will just fall asleep or get frustrated. Be horny. Want your anus and your rectum to be played with.

Get lubricated

The anus and rectum do not have an automatic lubricating system like the vagina's. Using a good quality lubricant is key to reducing friction and making anal play sensational. Try a simple water-based lubricant that is non-flavored or stimulating, and keep it handy to keep adding as you go. Some people prefer a silkier silicone-based lubricant - these are wonderful too, just be sure not to use them with silicone toys. To learn more about lubricants in Lubricants 101, click here

Get the Right Tools

A Finger

Start off with your own handy tool. It allows you to explore areas more quickly and naturally than any other toy. Make sure the finger is clean and your nails have been trimmed.

A Butt-Plug or Anal Dildo

Butt plugs are cute little (or larger) dildos with a base. The base allows you to enjoy your toy without the worry that it will move too far in and be difficult to remove.

Butt plugs come in all shapes and sizes. The standard butt plug shape starts out with a narrow tip for easy entry, a bulb to give extra sensation, and a narrowing to allow your muscles to wrap around it and hold it in. The base makes sure it doesn’t slip too far inside. Click here to shop Bloom's fabulous selection of anal toys

A Tongue, also known as Rimming

The sensation of a tongue touching your anus can be a highly erotic experience. The tongue brings moisture and a sense of taboo that no toy could possibly deliver. Always make sure your anus is washed and clean. E-coli and other bacteria can be transferred with rimming.

A Penis

Anal intercourse can be one of the most stimulating of sexual acts. It is a highly arousing sensation that can lead to intense pleasure for both parties.  The warmth and arousal of the penis can add even more excitement. 

Get the Motion

Start slow

The key to anal play is to take it slow. The person receiving anal pleasure should determine the pace as they know when their muscles are properly relaxed. The tissue of the anus and rectum are more delicate than other erotic areas and more susceptible to micro-tears. Don't forget your lube, and don't rush it.

Consciously relax

The outer ring of muscle is under your control and can be relaxed with a conscious thought to ‘let go’ of that muscle. Breathe. Breathing can be your best friend when it comes to relaxing for anal play.

Bear down

The inner muscle is not under our conscious control. A tip to get this muscle to relax is to “bear down” as if you are encouraging a bowel movement. (No need to worry about feces if you have prepared by voiding before playing).

Step it up

Once those muscles are relaxed and you are properly lubricated, thrusting can be extremely pleasurable. Build up to stronger thrusts or larger objects to increase intensity.

Do's and Don'ts

Do relax and take it slow

Do use a condom over porous toys

Do use extra thick lubricant

Do not move from the anus to the vagina. Anal / rectal bacteria can be moved to the vagina causing some pretty nasty infections

Do have fun exploring anal play with erotic anal toys

Mental Stimulation

Orgasms don’t happen by physical stimulation alone. In fact, the majority of the orgasm occurs in the mind. If you are blocked by stress, expectation, negative sexual messages, guilt, fear or boredom, you could be blocking your orgasm potential.

Be open to different types of pleasure

You may be accustomed to what an orgasm feels like when it comes from clitoral or vaginal stimulation. Orgasm from anal stimulation might feel quite different. Don’t have preconceived notions about what it is you should experience.

Talk to your partner about what you want, and what turns you one

Toys to reach orgasm through anal play

Many toys are designed precisely for anal pleasure and orgasm. Choose the type that works for you!

Anal Plug: An essential for any erotic treasure chest.  Smooth and sleek makes this a tried and true favourite. 
Ripple Anal Plug/Beads: The Ripple is a favourite for women trying anal play for the first time. It's slim, sexy and rippled for added stimulation. 
Lubricant: Thicker water-based or silicone gel lubricants offer a bit more cushioning than regular lubes. Generally stick with non-flavoured and non-stimulating to start.

 

1 Comment

C. T. Jul 4, 2013
I enjoy providing anal pleasure to my partner. It really turns him on sliding my finger up his anus and putting pressure on his p-spot. I am kind of scared of trying anal play for myself. The ripple sounds ... interesting. Has anyone tried it?

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